The #1 Reason Your Fear Will Keep You Stuck Forever

The #1 Reason Your Fear Will Keep You Stuck Forever

Let me tell you about lobsters.

Have you ever thought lobsters and humans are at all similar? (‘Is it the giant claws and hard exoskeleton?’ I hear you ask.)

Yes, but also other stuff.

Lobsters have this hierarchy, and they work it out in a specific way. They fight about it.

(Wait, this isn’t the comparison!)

What happens is that when a lobster wins, they have a physiological response and they release certain chemicals in their brain. It makes them feel stronger. It makes them more confident. It makes them more likely to win their next fight.

But if they lose?

They release different chemicals and restrict the chemicals they’d have got if they’d won. They start to feel more negative emotions. They feel different. They carry themselves differently. It makes it more likely they’ll lose their next fight.

Here’s the thing.

Humans are WAY more complicated than lobsters… right?

And yet… you follow the same pattern. You win, you feel great! You get a big boost and you feel way more confident to go on and get another win.

But you get enough knocks and you feel worse and worse, you get more and more scared to try again, and it feels like that win is further and further away.

Usually this ends up with you feeling worried a lot and thinking and behaving apprehensively. You doubt yourself, you go back and forth, you’re afraid to make a choice or take a decisive action.

The problem is, it becomes a spiral.

The more apprehensive you get, the more anxious you become and the worse your physical stress response gets. That means EVERYTHING starts to feel dangerous. Your future is threatening and terrifying!

So once you start to feel the fear and it keeps holding you back, it’s going to hold you back more and more because the more you feel it and listen to it, the harder it gets to ignore it.

So what can you do?

One of the biggest problems is going to be your thinking; your body is always listening in to what’s going on in your mind, and that’s where it’s all starting! The first step is going to be dealing with what’s happening in your head.

It’s also not just about ‘indulgent’ self-care (i.e. ‘Once a month when my husband’s out, I take a bath and have a glass of wine on my own!’). It’s about EVERYDAY self-care, which isn’t indulgent at all, but actually kinda boring. (Yeah, sorry. Eating more vegetables and being a little more active is never gonna be glamorous, that’s why no one wants to sell it to you!)

It’s a process. Dealing with what’s got you scared and fearful isn’t going to go away overnight, but NOT dealing with it will keep you stuck there for far, far longer. Your fear will keep you stuck… if you keep believing it.

I’ll be launching a new program for dealing with fear and stress when you’re working hard and generally adulting, so if you’d like to sign up to hear more about that when it’s launched, let me know below.

No Comments

Post A Comment